Verbal Vomit part 2 or Only YOU Can Prevent Negative Inner Speech

Time for the thrills and chills of the Ripple. Please be sure to keep your hands and feet inside the cart at all times and enjoy your ride.

I think we’ll begin with questions.
I’m a big fan of questions and the following are the ones Jessica and I asked…we suspect they’re pretty similar to the ones you asked…let us compare…shall we?

Why is inner speech so important?
Why should we be paying attention to this?
In the long run it governs your behavior.
The End.

HA!

Had you going there for a minute didn’t I? You were like, WHAT? That’s IT!?! But you were about to get back in line and ride it all over again weren’t you?
Of course you were.  I’ll let you in on a little secret, we did exactly the same thing when we were working, only it went a bit like this:
Robyn: OK this is the last sentence we wrote last time.
Jessica: Read it again please.
Then Jessica asked those two questions and immediately answered them in one sentence.
Then Robyn got that deer in the headlights look about her and responded with something to the effect of: no one is going to believe it’s that simple.
So we found ourselves getting back on the ride.

Point being (you mean there’s a point?) Yes, I assure you there is.
It really is as simple yet complicated as:  In the long run, inner speech governs your behavior.

Imagine that as parents and teachers we are going ‘round with great big highlighters (Robyn’s is pink), and throughout our day highlighting any number of things we experience and by this highlighting, we’re reinforcing that particular behavior. (You with me so far?)
When we highlight children’s behavior, we tend to judge, theoretically because if we highlight their behavior  we’re helping them learn, right?
Sure.
When we highlight and judge children’s behavior, we are creating their inner speech.  The thing is, we are particularly good at highlighting the “bad” behavior. Our intentions are well meant…if we point out what isn’t right about their behavior then they will learn what is right. Um…emphatically no.

What we as parents and teachers, absolutely need to do (starting right this moment) is stop judging with our highlighters and notice children’s behavior and actions as helpful, thoughtful, or kind.  Consider this, if we only highlight the bad things we are being hurtful, and this is the kind of “hurtful” that sets a pattern that can last a lifetime.
Stop judging what kids do as “good” or “bad”. Seriously, stop judging.

Our brains are pattern seeking, so if we’re forever highlighting the negative that’s what our brain begins to search for. What you focus on you get more of!  It’s your choice what to pay attention to, are you focusing on the helpful or the hurtful? We must begin to see through new eyes and encourage our brains to pick up new patterns. It is imperative to change our focus and re-pattern our brains because we are creating their inner speech and it will last a lifetime!

Every child does helpful things.
Pay attention.
Observe without judgment.
Learn to see things from the child’s point of view.
It only takes once.  

Noticing even one helpful thing begins to change the pattern in the grown-up’s brain. Verbalizing it to the child creates that positive pattern in his or her brain. And continues to re-pattern your own brain…you see where we’re going with this right?

When you notice and describe, “brain food” is created, feeding your brain in a positive way, creating new patterns. Feeling a sense of accomplishment creates a serotonin boost, and that is seriously yummy food for your brain!
What you give to others you strengthen within yourself…it’s all about the yummy brain food which creates new patterns, which makes more yummy brain food…it’s a catch 22…but in a good way!

Here’s a little checklist to jump start your delicious, pattern-building brain food:
What is YOUR inner speech saying to you? The way you talk to yourself is the way you will talk to children (and other adults too)
Notice helpful acts however small.
Verbalize what you see.

Positive inner speech is a gift that continues to give…you’re not just starting the patterns, creating the inner speech, you’re teaching the child to do this for herself…and for others!
It is always bigger than you think!

 

Thank you for riding the Ripple with us, please exit the cart to your right and enjoy your day.

Here’s a shout out to Dr Becky Bailey for sharing Conscious Discipline that inspired us to write about inner speech…now that’s a Ripple!

 

ABC’s of Being Thankful

It is with a heart full of gratitude that I share this writing by my friend and colleague, Robyn Moncure regarding her musings on Thanksgiving.  I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did.  Enjoy!
Jessica Shields Flowers

Thanksgiving is not my favorite holiday, I oftentimes feel its nothing more than an excuse for gluttony. I don’t like the idea of a National Holiday coercing me to acknowledge or express my gratitude…because the thing is, I’m thankful every single day of my life. So, in the spirit of celebrating the Giving of Thanks, I’ve written this alphabet of gratitude.

A       I am thankful for autumn. I love the crisp air, the cool days, being able to wear my favorite things: jeans and boots and sweaters. I love the idea that though the world is in its dying time, there is no real dying, only the time needed to gather strength.

B       bugger…bloody…bum…bollocks…berk…blighter…bleeding…and those are just a few of the British slang words I love. Everyone should have a bit of fun fitting these colorful words and phrases into everyday language.

C       Church, it may seem an odd thing to say when I don’t have a current church home, but I grew up in a wonderful church, where I learned not only to believe what I was taught, which truly shaped my beliefs, but where I became brave enough to ask questions which lead me to develop who I am spiritually.

D       Lizz and Maggie’s Daddy has been my friend through thick and thin for a solid 25 years, and even though we have hurt each other a-plenty we are still good friends and I wouldn’t want it any other way. He gave me the greatest gifts I ever received rolled up into the most perfect little women. He is a good man and I’m glad I had a chance to know and love him. I am thankful to have had him in my truly strange and wonderful life.

E        This one is so easy…Elizabeth. She made me a mommy! She has given me such fun and love, many frights, and the most epic fights. I am in awe of this young woman, my first daughter. She is absolute perfection, I have always longed to hold her precious yet stubborn soul in my hands and softly croon words of love. She has challenged me to be a better mom and a better woman. My love for her is greater than the whole wide world.

F        Thankful for flowers! Anything that blooms really…trees, shrubs, bulbs, plants…doesn’t matter, it blooms and I’m a happy girl.      

G       I don’t know how I could be any more thankful for giggles…but I’ll continue to try! Little tiny baby ones, great big loud ones, even the ones when you’re standing in the kitchen trying not to pee your pants giggling so hard no sound comes out! My favorite giggle belongs to a brown-eyed girl; just ask her big sister, she truly has the best giggle ever!

H       I wish I could get a Hogwarts letter and live in the world Jo Rowling created for Harry Potter. The books that moved a generation…and I relished every single word…at least three times. Loyalty and love and trust and loss…and the coolest Godfather EVER!

I        See, I was going to say intellect…but I decided to go with icepick. The amazingly wonderful (albeit metaphorical) icepick I keep handy so I can stab when the mood strikes. The coolest thing is getting to share it with my friends when they need it…this icepick makes the rounds.

J        As much as I love the light, I am a girl who tends to spend a goodly bit of time down in the dark…the rabbit hole is my way of dealing when the going gets rough. As much time as I spend deep down in the melancholy, I’m aware enough to understand and appreciate the joy I experience in my life. It truly comes from the least expected places, keeps me guessing, encourages me to bathe in the light it brings.

K        From as early as I can remember, there has always been a kitty in my home. Sweet soft little fuzzballs of love, purring and nuzzling and lying slap on you when it is least convenient, isn’t that the best?

L        Love is my very favorite word…and that is saying quite a lot as I am a fan of words. What would we be without love? I have been blessed in my life to experience the giving and receiving of so much love. I love with an open heart and an overwhelming ferocity and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

M       Every single day of my life, I am thankful for Maggie. The little girl who almost wasn’t. With one touch of her hand, she taught me an entirely new way to love. She is joy and verve, giggles and unbelievable sass…and a dash of evil just to keep us guessing. She lights up my world with her deliciously undefinable “Maggie-ness”. I love her more than the moon and the stars.

N       I’m so thankful for my nieces and nephews! Frankie and Savannah started it all, wasn’t much longer before Darien came along. Then I got Josh, Cari, Sarah and Caleb, Emily the Pickle and her little Dylan too. Clay came into my life and kindly brought his sister Evie along to play. Baby Ian, who is now a big kid, and recently I’ve kind of become the aunt of a young man called Jack. These babies big and small are part of my brood and I love each and every one of them with my great big heart!

O       I am thankful for the opportunities I have been presented with, one in particular…VBCC. One phone call from Jessica started the happiest time in my life. I loved being in that truly amazing place with those women who cared so deeply about children and each other. I learned so many things about myself, about how to be a better mom, about how much a roomful of little children can change the world as we know it. I made friendships that will last a lifetime. I will always treasure my time there.

P       I don’t have an overabundance of patience, but what little I have, I am eternally thankful for. I’ve been told patience is a virtue…I don’t know about all that, but I’m going to keep trying to learn.

Q       I ask questions, so many questions. I’m a curious girl; I like to know what’s the what. I believe you can never ask too many questions…even the futile ones that start with how or why. I will keep asking until I have no more breath…because it is my favorite way to learn.

R       The first man I ever loved carried the initials R.W.C. My Grandaddy was the sweetest man, he was also damned cantankerous…but I liked that about him too. He taught me how to stand up for myself and let me argue with him and took me to father-daughter dances and he made coke floats for Brookie and me because we didn’t like root beer. He took care of me even when he didn’t have to and he loved me like nothing you ever saw.

S        I am thankful for sunshine.

T        My accidental best friend…found sitting on the sofa one cold night. She is the other half of my brain…even though distance and time have come between us, that feeling didn’t change for me. T is the one…my true soul mate. I love her the ocean wide, forever and ever amen.

U        I’m thankful for umbrage, the ‘shade from tree foliage’ definition, not the ‘resentment’ definition. As a child I was an enthusiastic tree climber, loved to be high in the branches, shady leaves keeping me cool. I love the trick of dappled light under trees, and though I no longer climb, I am very happy to spend time on the ground beneath them.

V       Well done Sister Suffragettes for working tirelessly to achieve the goal of Votes for Women! The 19th amendment is the ultimate Girl Power! We were given a gift and a duty…bring it ladies!      

W       The Wall Boys. C and GMcG quickly became at home in my heart not long after I began to love their dad. This wonderful young man and delightful little boy have enriched my life and I intend to know and love them a long long time.

X        Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla the pronoun song! Thank you Schoolhouse Rock for grammar rock and America rock and…well…all the rock!

Y        Time is a tricky thing, sometimes it knows things we can’t seem to…in this case, time knew it would take 38 years and a completely broken heart for me to be ready to love Ben. He arrived on my radar quite by accident as the boy who grew up yummy, but he made his way into my heart with purpose. He helped me rediscover that I am brave and lovable; he is teaching me how to be nurtured. He reminds me what it means to feel safe. He loves my babies as his own and shares his babies with me. He is the holder of my heart and I love him in ways I didn’t know I could.

Z        This is zany madcap humor. I’m thankful for the Pythons…for all funny things really, sense of humor is unique to each person, and I’m very grateful for mine, however twisted it may be.

Verbal Vomit or How Jessica’s Inner Speech Rippled into Asking Robyn to Help Write a Blog.

JESSICA’S INNER SPEECH:
I hate writing!  Please don’t tell me that I have to blog.  That means I have to write and I hate it, I tell you.  What part of this do you not understand?

But I don’t WAAAANT to write!

What you focus on you get more of.  Well duh, but I really hate writing.  What do I want?  I want to be a brilliant writer and make a Ripple for parents and teachers.  How can I be brilliant when all the brilliance is already taken? Have you read Janet Lansbury and Lisa Sunbury?  There isn’t enough brilliance to go around.

Does this sound like a grown up toddler? This is the emotional state of the brain talking; verbal vomit for sure. This so isn’t helpful and keeps me stuck.   So how can I focus on what I want instead of what I don’t want?
PIVOT.  How to do that?  Be a STAR. Smile, Take a deep breath And Relax. 
(In this case many breaths) and focus on what I want.
I want to write.  So how can I make this happen? Why can’t I be the writer like Nancy Lusk or Sharon Winstead or even Cina Deaton?  Then there’s Robyn Moncure.
I stop dead in my tracks and something inside me shifts.  I become “conscious”. Two phone calls later and voilà Robyn has agreed to write with me.

ROBYN’S INNER SPEECH:
I gotta snap out of this!
Be easy, your mom just died.
I have to stop moping and get out of this bed, but I don’t feel like doing anything.
Lizz has applied to and been accepted at schools, you have to make sure she’s all sorted.
Oh my God Elizabeth is going to college in August! She’s leaving too. Why am I’m always getting left? I feel awful, I need to get back in my bed.
STOP THAT! You have got to get over it!
But I don’t have a Mommie! And Lizz is going away! And I’m STILL a college student and I don’t even know if I’m doing anything right! I feel awful, I need to get back in my bed. Why am I planning to teach middle schoolers when I love pre- schoolers?
We’ve been over this a million times; you can’t support yourself with pre-schoolers.
Oh yeah. I should call Jessica, she always inspires me. If she is doing something cool, perhaps I could get involved…I don’t want to dance around with people though…it makes me feel uncomfortable. Am I wasting all this financial aid money finishing my degree? I feel awful, I need to get back in my bed.

I feel awful, I need to get back in my bed.

Talk about being stuck!

Before we jump headlong into the deep end of the pool with the inner speech topic, we want to give a bit of our history and thoughts of who we are as friends.

Jessica:
I met Robyn back in September 1995 when she was a young mom and I was a director at Vienna Baptist Children’s Center (VBCC). There was a natural affinity to her. She was fun, brilliant and intelligent. I’ve kept in touch with her over the years. Her children are in high school now and yet we continue to be friends…colleagues.
Focus on what you want. Abundance.

Robyn:
I got to know Jessica when Elizabeth was 18 months old and started going to school at VBCC. Four years later at 14 months old, Maggie started VBCC and that was really the beginning of our friendship.
Jessica was going through serious events in her personal life and I was struggling with being a young stay at home mom. Maggie had spent the first year of her life very sick, we almost lost her twice. And finally as she was growing healthier and I was able to get back into the swing of normal life, I would go sit in Jessica’s office and talk with her.
Years later when I found out those conversations were happening during that difficult time in her life, I said to her, “why didn’t you just tell me to leave?”
That’s just not who she is.
Jessica has a great deal of love in her…and she is not remotely stingy about sharing it! She is filled with joy and verve and a positivity that can truly knock you over. I always feel renewed of spirit after speaking to or spending time with her, she is quite a bundle of energy in the most positive sense of the phrase.
Jessica takes life’s lemons and finds such creative ways to turn them in to delicious lemonade.
I am awed by this, for I am the kind of girl who takes the same lemons and almost literally lobs them back.
My life would not be quite the same without Jessica, and I’ve been thinking about how she made this lemonade of an idea and offered me a glass at a time when I was thinking I very much needed some.
And they say there is no such thing as bringing to you what you need? Pfft!
We were both very conscious!

What we’re setting out to accomplish as writing partners is to share what we’ve learned and continue to learn everyday about ourselves, children, parents and educators in a honest and playful way.
At last! Buckle up and hold on, we’re finally getting to the fascinating and sometimes confusing topic of inner speech!

We had a conversation about thinking in pictures vs thinking in feelings. Thinking in pictures is a bit like asking, what will it look like?
You see, it’s all visual, and theoretically if you can see “it” clearly, you’ll have a better idea of how to verbalize “it” or better make “it” happen.
Thinking in feelings is asking the question, how will it feel? This is more along the lines of expecting to feel a particular way about whatever the “it” is.
If “it” will feel positive you will take a different approach to verbalize or make “it” happen than if “it” feels negative.
When you are a child, you understand language but have immature inner speech; therefore, the adults in your life are responsible for starting to create that inner speech. This is a much bigger responsibility than most adults ever realize!

Here’s what we discussed about our own inner speech.

Jessica’s reflections:
At home in anticipation of my youngest son’s college graduation in 2002, the photographer asked us to have a bit of fun as she documented my family’s celebration. So, I did something I thought was funny and like lighting, my mother pulled on my wrist, looked directly in my eyes and said quite firmly, “Young lady!”
It was quite a jolt to me! I was immediately a seven year old again in my adult skin.  I framed that photograph to help remind me to turn down the volume of my inner speech and believe in myself.  I have to commit to this on a daily basis.

“Young lady!”

You see, I am a bit of a Tigger who grew up with a Mother who was a bit of a Piglet.  Now there’s a combination!  As adults we are writing our children’s inner speech. What we say to them becomes their inner speech and all of my life I have lived being a Tigger with the inner speech of feeling guilty for being gregarious, engaging and enthusiastic. I didn’t have the capacity to appreciate who I am; who I was created to be.  That photographer actually caught the moment that I became conscious of what inner speech my parents had written. “Hide your light under a bushel. Do not call attention to yourself.” As a child, I translated this to I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t smart enough.

Robyn’s reflections:
I seem to have an inner speech that sounds super critical and a bit like I’m not quite good enough. Wow I need some new inner speech.
But you’re a grown up and it’s too late to change that now, just keep your head down and keep going.
Clearly the adults that created my inner speech knew nothing about the lasting impact their descriptions of my pictures would have. I make a conscious effort every single day to adapt my inner speech, to make it kinder and gentler, to make it supportive and nurturing.
Oddly enough, I always wondered what it would feel like if one day I just turned into the bird for which I was named, opened my strong wings and flew away.

I opened my strong wings and flew away.

Notice I said how it would feel…not what it would look like…I’m just saying.

Now that we’ve shared a bit about our friendship as well as our own inner speech, stay tuned for our next installment:
Verbal Vomit Part Two or Creating Positive Inner Speech; How Your Words Can Nurture or Hinder

Consequences are Your Friend!

Consequences were not my friend for most of my life, not for me, not for my children.

Consequences eluded me most of the time that my children were growing up.  I believe that’s due most in part because of how I was parented.  Consequences, punishments, feeling bad were the name of the game.  Thankfully, my perspective has changed over the years.  It is as if I have a new pair of glasses that allows me to see the world a bit different.  That’s all it takes.  A small ripple shifted my entire perspective.

Consequences are everywhere!  Research says that 75-85% of behavior is determined by consequences.  Now that is one big RIPPLE!  Once I began watching this in myself and in classrooms, I got it or rather I am beginning to get it!

Consequences are meant to teach. What can I learn from this mistake?  I am unable to learn anything when I feel bad about myself; it’s counterproductive.  It is more about allowing myself or your child to sit with the strong feeling, taking responsibility for whatever choice made at that moment and then learning from it.  It could be that I choose not to go to the gym or your child chooses not to do their homework.  The learning comes from sitting with the strong feeling.  What could I choose differently next time?  It could be as simple as saying to myself, “I am not going to the gym today rather than I should go to the gym and then not go.”  I believe this kind of thinking literally changes the chemistry in my brain because there is no judgement involved.

With your child, it is believing that your child can handle this feeling of OOPS, I should have done my homework because the consequence was a zero.  The zero is the natural consequence.  Now here is the trick.  My old self would have “punished” my child which stole the opportunity for my child to learn.   The consequence was a zero.  You are there to coach your child.  Reflective thinking with your child is critical.  “What could you do differently next time? ”

Once you shift your thinking, consequences will be your friend.  Make a Ripple in your family or in your classroom for this coming year.  Look for those natural consequences and allow yourself, allow your child to sit with the moment and learn from the OOPS.  It will be a gift that keeps on giving.

Who’s your new friend?

 

 

Hope is a Good Thing!

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Understanding the Brain State Model
I can honestly report to each of you that I am HOPEFUL.    Yep, that’s right, HOPEFUL IN CAPITAL LETTERS!

Last May, Ripple was awarded a contract with South Carolina First Steps to help children in three high-need counties become ready for school through early childhood social, emotional, and behavioral development.

What is South Carolina First Steps?  The following is taken straight off their web site.

Nearly one in seven SC children are assessed as not ready for first grade. In some communities, this statistic is as poor as one in four, or greater. Research studies repeatedly show that children who arrive unprepared for first grade’s challenges have a difficult time catching up and succeeding throughout the rest of their school years. Many of these students drop out of school or do not find fulfilling productive jobs after high school as a result of their slow start.

South Carolina First Steps to School Readiness was signed into law in 1999 to help improve school readiness for the state’s youngest learners. First Steps is a comprehensive, results-oriented statewide education initiative to help prepare children to reach first grade healthy and ready to succeed.

I am the lead trainer across Charleston, Georgetown and Horry Counties and began the training in June.  Another piece of the contract is for me to go into the classrooms to coach and mentor teachers.  This began Friday, September 16, in Georgetown, South Carolina and then with Carousel Early Learning Center in Charleston on September 19 and The Learning Station in Conway on September 23.

Success stories are rampant across all three counties.  “We’re the baby whisperers!” was a comment in Georgetown said proudly.  Teachers are beginning to understand that teaching self-control begins with them.  Authentically connecting with each child makes a difference.

Yep, hope is a good thing and I believe that changes are happening that will lead to stronger families that create stronger communities.  Let the Ripple continue.

Give the Gift of Your Presence this Summer!

This past May I was in Virginia training at Apple Country Head Start located in Winchester, Virginia.  I had the wonderful opportunity of seeing my seven-year old grandson while in Winchester.  My grandson and I share a common interest; the Civil War.  I wondered how to appropriately and authentically share this tumultuous time in our country’s history to a seven-year old.  Well kudos to the National Park Service.  They have a program for “kids” to earn their Junior Ranger Award.  The Junior Ranger Manual thoughtfully guided us through the Antietam Battlefield at our own pace.  We reported back to Ranger Joe who genuinely went through the pages.  Thanks Ranger Joe for your help!  We’re celebrating in the picture below!

So what does this have to do with the summer and your children?  This experience reminded me of summers with my sons and it got me to thinking about today and your children.  How can you navigate your summer so that it is one of memory making?  What can help you to be mindful and present with your children?   What lessons can I pass on to you?

As a mother of two young boys I could hardly wait for summer.  It was a chance to slow down and catch my breath!  We could stay in our jammies all morning and make wonderful structures with Lego‘s.  We could make fabulous mud pits in the backyard with elaborate cities and highways.  After lunch we would walk to the pool and spend the rest of the afternoon with neighborhood friends.  This was our routine with the occasional field trip to Wolf Trap for their wonderful summer children’s programs.  Not very glitzy but one of memory making with meaningful and authentic experiences that would support each of them educationally.   As they grew they would ultimately attend Boy Scout Camp and Church Camp.

I’m not advocating for you to do your summer my way.  We’re living in the 21st century and with that come so many more opportunities.  We know more today.  What I do advocate is to be intentional with this new knowledge.  This is what I suggest you think about when planning your summer.

  • Share your passion and joy with your child.  I loved the outdoors.  I loved the water.  It was that simple for me.  To this day my sons love the outdoors and love the water. What’s your passion?  What brings you joy?  When you share this with your child, the experiences will be meaningful and authentic which literally make connections with your child that will lead your child to be more likely to cooperate.  These experiences are literally wiring their brain for cooperation, willingness and impulse control.
  • Create a routine.  I would not suggest to replicate my routine.  I would suggest that you create days that your child can predict.  Make a weekly calendar so that children can see what Monday looks like, what Tuesday looks like.  Great conversations can come out of the sheer anticipation of what’s next sprinkled with some of your stories as a child.
  • Look for your child’s passion and joy!  Be a keen observer of your child and build on their interests.  What is your child good at?  Notice and describe this out loud; let go of “good job.”  We so often “highlight” what our children are doing wrong.  This summer take the time to “highlight” their brilliance.  This noticing and describing literally builds their frontal lobes.
Take the time this summer to be thoughtful and mindful with your children.  What do you want their stories to be when they are grown?  You are the best present to them so give them the gift of your presence this summer.  That’s priceless.
For those of you that are interested in the Junior Ranger Program here is the link.
Junior Ranger Flowers

The Hijacking

This is a confession!  Yep, I hijacked a natural consequence.  It’s reported that confession is good for the soul.  Just maybe it will be good for someone else also. 
In 1982, my oldest son was in the third grade.  He returned home from school one day and announced that he had a project due the next day; a project about Mars.  He’d known about it for weeks he reported.  I immediately jumped into the rescue mode.  I called Miss Hillary and she agreed to extend the time for Jay.  Yeah!  I did it!  Problem solved.   
Fast forward the calendar to the Summer of 1997.  Jay is now 23 years old.  He came to see me one  morning and asked me if I remembered a Mars project.  Well, yes I do remember.  Let me assure you that Jay and I have a great relationship so this kind of conversation is and was normal.  He proceeded to tell me that I should not have rescued him.  I should have let him feel the natural consequence when he was 8 years old.  WOW!  How can I argue with him when he is spot on right? 
When I rescued Jay I made the situation about me and all of my “stuff.”   I hijacked an opportunity for Jay to learn from his mistake. 
Natural consequences are how children learn from their mistakes.  Parents can help children reflect on their choices and figure out what changes need to be made.  No rescues.  No judgements.  Yes to encouragement.  Yes to empathy. 
Believe in yourself and believe that your child can handle the situation and learn from it.  Don’t hijack the natural consequences.  You can do it!

Brilliance

Becky Bailey uses the word brilliance a lot.  Sometimes people can over use a word but I have to give it to Becky on this word.  Brilliance just can’t be overused and isn’t that just brilliant?
Well Becky has written a new book and might I just say it?  Brilliance radiates from every page.   She has nailed it once again. 
I love history and what Becky has accomplished is to put our education history in perspective.  She urges us to say good-bye to outdated models of education and classroom management, and step into the 21st century, where intrinsic motivation, helpfulness and connections govern children’s classrooms.   How is it possible to read about research and then make the research come alive in a classroom?  Well she has done it! 
The brilliance shines through every page.    You can find her new book, Creating the School Family:Bully-Proofing Schools Through Emotional Intelligence! on her website.  http://www.consciousdiscipline.com/store/pc/viewPrd.asp?idproduct=138&idcategory=4

South Carolina First Steps

I’m heading to Union County in South Carolina today.  Union County First Steps has asked me to come and introduce them to Conscious Discipline®.  It’s a great opportunity but I’m wondering if the residents of South Carolina know about First Steps.  Here is what I copied from their website.  I think that it is worth knowing.  I believe that all the children in South Carolina will benefit.  It is a worthy investment for our state and country. 

After the alarming realization that one in seven children in South Carolina is not ready for first grade, the General Assembly created S.C. First Steps to School Readiness in 1999. Currently, First Steps is the state’s only entity focused exclusively on increasing school readiness outcomes for all children ages 0 to 5.  Since inception, First Steps has helped more than 500,000 young children prepare for school though programs that strengthen families, improve children’s health and well-being, increase the quality of child care and early education opportunities, and help transition rising  kindergarteners into school. 

I’ll be training in Union on Saturday, February 19 and March 5.   Join me in wishing the adults in Union County that work on behalf of young children and their families well.  We are all in this together.    Here is the website.  www.scfirststeps.org 

I have a feeling!

“I Got a Feeling”

Tomorrow is a big day and “I’ve got a feeling.” 

I’ll be presenting a one day workshop to Roper Learning Center (RLC).  RLC  is the employers child care center for Roper St. Francis Hospital in downtown Charleston, South Carolina.  This one day training will kick off the beginning of a seven month journey of studying the book, Conscious Discipline®.    Each month we’ll be studying the seven skills of Conscious Discipline® and then

implementing that skill into the classroom.   Composure. Encouragement. Assertiveness. Choices. Positive Intent. Empathy. Consequences. 

As The Black Eyed Peas would sing I Got a Feeling.   “Tonight’s gonna a be a good night.  Fill up that cup.  Mazal Tov!”  Here’s to Roper Learning Center for beginning to make a difference in the lives of the children and families in their care.  Mazal Tov!